Do Something BIG!

Do something big! These were the words someone offered me shortly after my Mom's death as a way to honor her. I've never forgotten about this and I've wondered what my something BIG would be. I haven't figured it out yet so in the meantime this continues to be the only way I know how to honor my Mom. I will continue to speak about her and her character and all the reasons she is so fiercely loved and missed. 

“It is cheerful to God when you rejoice or laugh from the bottom of your heart.” 
– Martin Luther King Jr

Dear Mom, I miss your laugh. I remember us constantly laughing together. Laughing so loud that other people couldn't help but notice and want to be near us in the hopes that some of that happy would rub off on them. We are happy people by nature and you would say it's the joy of the Lord and that is true. 
  • “What you are is God's gift to you. What you become is your gift to God.”                             ― Hans urs von Balthazar
Mom, I miss your encouragement. You had a gift to take a weakness and find the strength in it. I could be completely vulnerable and genuine with you knowing that you would see right into the Lord's purpose in my life through it all. In a world that often expects us to hide our emotions to make others comfortable, your ability to accept and support me was a true blessing. Today, I was able to pass on the same kind of support to someone who was struggling to "keep it together,' letting them know it was okay to be vulnerable in my presence.

"Parents know a lot, but grandparents know everything."

My dear mama, I miss the warmth of your love and care for my children. It's been too long since they've felt the embrace of your affection and heard the wisdom in your guidance. I miss being able to call you and ask for advice and prayers for my teenage children, who so desperately need older and wiser adults in their lives to pour into them.

It's impossible to capture every single thing that I miss about you Mom, but every morning that I wake up with no one to call on my way to work is a constant reminder of what's absent. I guess writing it down every now and then is a healthy way to express the pain and it remains as profound and far-reaching as ever. Yet I have been able to witness the grace of God to a greater extent. His grace is sufficient and His comfort is sure.

My beloved mother, oh how I miss being a witness to the magnificence of God's work in your life and through your life, touching and blessing others. I can see you now, your face lit up, excited to share how God showed up for you. I pray I never forget or lose this image.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. 

Ps. 73:26

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