I Never Promised You a Rose Garden


"I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden, along with the sunshine there's gotta be a little rain sometime..."

This lyric sung by Lynn Anderson (1971) was a funny thing my Mom used to say when she found her children exhibiting a complaining spirit about life in general. She would often say it when she realized she too had expectations that life was not cooperating to provide. And even though this song is being sung in the context of a relationship it bears such truth to the rest of life. I beg your pardon but suffering in this life is unavoidable. 

I came across a sermon by Charles Haddon Spurgeon from 1910 titled Maroth-The Disappointed, that I found great comfort in. 

 "Who are you that everything should happen just as you wish? Should the weather be fine simply because you want it to be so when a thousand fields are gasping for rain? Should you have the channels of trade turned in your direction when, if that were the case, scores of others would be beggared? Is everything in this world to be so arranged that you shall be the darling and pet of providence? It cannot be right for such a state of things to prevail, therefore, when we are disappointed, whether it is in little matters or great ones, let us bear the disappointment bravely, and lay the whole case before the Lord in prayer. Let us ask Him wherefore He contends with us, and if there be any reason for it which we can discover in ourselves, let us endeavor to remove it, or if we can find no cause, let us believe that God acts in wisdom and in love, and let us cheerfully submit to whatever He appoints for us."

Leave it up to Spurgeon to get you in check real quick! For the Christian we know the Bible tells us that we are to rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character and character produces hope. We are told that it is good to be afflicted so that we may be instructed. Of course we don't request that adversity come into our lives but for the Christian we understand that when adversity comes...it is for a purpose (Ref. Romans 5:3-5a; Psalm 119:71).

"Rest confident concerning the trial which God sends you, that He will also send you deliverance from it, or grace to glorify Him in it."

The two year anniversary of your death is drawing near. I replay this day in my mind pretty often. I can still hear the sound of my own screaming. The look on my Stepdad's face. It's all burned into my hippocampus and amygdala. Life is so different but God is so good. As much as I might think back on the trauma of February 20, 2021, I just as often envision you in the presence of Christ, experiencing eternal joy in a wonderful paradise and this has created a new pathway in my brain where I think on heaven all the more.

"Yes, disappointments wean us from the world, and makes us plume our wings ready to be up and away to that fair country where hope shall reach its full fruition, and disappointment shall be unknown forever."

Always living in a time of remembrance of you is not easy. I write to catalog my journey. I share it for no other reason then to keep the memory of my parents alive. For a grieving person, you sometimes experience fear that your special person will be forgotten. I write as the changed person I have become since you left. 

Life is different.

I am different.

When pain closes the door to the outside world and you are left alone with Jesus, that is bound to happen. Maybe this is why the scripture tells us that "it is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting." (Ref Ecc. 7:2) Death awaits us all, but through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, there will be a resurrection for all of the saints in God's Kingdom. That's really important to know when some of your favorite people are already there. 

Perhaps some of you might be thinking, "get over it already!" I can understand that thought. I've thought it about myself already. 😉 I also hope that for those that take the time to be here, you understand the need to express the emotion and may in some way benefit from it. If you know me well, you know that I much prefer laughter to tears. Something Weirsbe said made me feel less self conscious about the invasion of privacy that is the reality of being sprung into a time of emotional distress. 

"Laughter can be like medicine that heals the broken heart, but sorrow can be like nourishing food that strengthens the inner person. It takes both for a balanced life, but few people realize this." 

Thank you Mom for the many moments of instruction. This time through a song.  

"I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden, along with the sunshine, there's gotta be a little rain sometime..."

Mom, there isn't a day that goes by that you are not on my mind. 

I love you!




 


    



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